Some works and some sadness

Good night hello readers,

I just finished this drawings... I wanted to say

Hope to japanese people who are having tough times... My bf is japanese so I panicked like crazy bitch last friday, hopefully he was fine (he is from Nara) so apparently earthquake and tsunami didn't affect so much near his area. But anyway this is such a tragedy for many people... I don't use to talk about this personal things but I wanted to say.

And now... drawings.

Remake of all drawing... but same feeling

take out your plants lady

....

extra shit my room.

Good night fuckers.

light table

Hello dear readers!!

Last friday I bought a light table... It was kinda expensive (80eur) but it's making my life wayyyy easier man. I'm very dirty and messy on my work so sometimes I end with a paper full of scketches. This is very useful to take profit of them !

my new baby

detail of a painting (acrylic on wood)

hero

not finished ^^

and another one not finished

HERE SOME OLD DRAWINGS I REDID THANKS TO MY LT

BYEBYE

Have a nice week

Gimme some hope, OH GOD!

Good night dear readers,

I was about going to sleep.

Blah, anyway. I been drawing and painting quite a lot this days ^^ But only little shits hahaha. I was trying to do something great to make my website. Yeah do you remember I said I was making a website like thousand years ago? You can see the disaster with legs I am. Truly amazed of myself.

I got many works (mostly illustration) But I don't know... I feel like I can do it way better ( I never spend so much time making a drawing so) This is my problem, too much perfection and lack of effort. Shame on me!

But at the end I want to take this seriously. I need a proper portafolio. I need to work. I can't be playing around so careless forever.

It would be nice to feature on a gallery or magazine, but I feel I'm way to shitty. I got many options but I think I'm not good enough, ah.

Why I distrust myself so hard. I want a break of myself.

^_^

Hello dear readers,

Today I went to buy a new moleskine, because I just finished my old one ^^ I also bought some more shit... I couldn't resist hahaha I'm hopeless.

This days are happy and relaxed, because altough classes already started this week is just for subject introduction, showing program etc so I got a lot of free time!

Yesterday I made a deep cleaning at home... Maybe to kick away bad feelings, hahaha So now all is new and bright, I got new material and the will to do my best at work.

bye bye!!

I'm sorry

Recently I feel so... Disconnected from the world. Of work, or art, or ambition. I feel tired. I can't lead a normal social life. And It's so damn hot that I can't even think.

I really would like... you know. Have the freedom, the money and the bravery. But I got only the laziness and mediocrity.

I should be more positive. But is hard. Because I'm too shy, too coward, too insecure about my skills. I need a shoulder to cry over all the time. I'm tired of myself. And I'm tired about complaining and doing nothing. I wanted this year to be special... To be able to work a lot and be happy. Can I? I'm not unhappy. But not happy either. Because I feel I'm not doing my best. I would like to wakeup and live. Live harder, dream higher, love deeper; I heard once. I need the strenght. And the chance.

I should start to think less and act more. This blog has became a desert of complains .I don't like this shit. I want to draw again, learn again, make friends again. If only god would borrow me some hope.

Money is evil

Hi dear readers.
I want to talk about the reason I'm not uploading any new material. I don't have any. Now I'm on my fucking summer job. I hate my boss. I want to cry many many times because she is sooo fucking annoying and looks at me with 'smelling shit face'. But what the hell I supose to do? I'm doing some subjects for online university as well. So as you can see I don't have any real time. I come home at 3am from work. My body hurts. I know my life is not very interesting matter. But I want you to know. 21 june I will finish summer university and then maybe I will have more time to draw and project, but I really don't know. I just wish that september comes soon.

Zo I hearz money is raik cancer

I was talking with one of my best friend. She studied design and illustration. We want to make something together... But I don't know. I'm worried I'm not that good. Or not have enough knowledge about design stuff. Life is very confusing.

The last chance

Hello dear readers, I got some fresh news!
I just came back from my project class. Teacher was like 0_0 when I told her about september. So ok, this sunday I'm gonna meet a friend who studied design and I want her to help me with magazine, YES! I'm gonna try again, this is the fucking last chance. I hope this time it will work... Well I don't loose anything anyway. Thank you so much for your support ^^ It helped me to take air and keep going on on my shitty artty stuff.

The girl of the photo is me. This is for another project. I have the pdf but it's in spanish so, next time I will translate the pdf into english and I will show you the project ^^

Take care ~ and spread the wicked spirit

Defeated

Tomorrow is the day I have to show to my teacher the new version of book. And you know what? I dindn't finish it. I tried... seriously, I been 3 fucking days trying to make the fucking book. But my strengh is gone. I have other subject to do, you know. I feel I been fooled by the world. I just want to dissapear. I lost time, and money, and possibly my state grant so I don't know how the hell I'm gonna pay the fucking university and the bills and nihongo. I hate this shit.

Hard times

Hello dear readers,
Sorry for not updating for a while. I've had hard times with school works and stuff. About mural painting, I did it, but in the end teacher said is not enought to put me an A. I made a fanzine with recopilation of drawing and since I'm bad with publication making, teacher said it was not enough as well. I have another opportunity this friday, and if its not ok I will have to go to september. I was kinda sad, cause I tried hard. But it's ok since she said the problem is not what, is 'how'. So possibly a nice week of deep indesign tutorial will be enought to pass the subject in september. I'm sad and a bit ashamed that I failed. But complaining is pointless, so I will continue doing my best because there are a lot of people around me who supports me. Thank you.

ugly me haha

starting

Ah, class mate asked me if I was talking about bulimia ^_^ I wanted to kill she forever you know.

I also doing a nice project for another subject, I want to upload this when I will finish it! Is not about drawing but is funny! ^^

Bye bye, thank you for reading ma shits

Testing

Hello! How are you?

I finished the last fucking drawing * ¬* finally! Teacher told me to make a collage with photoshop to see how it looks, so I wanna share with us. Friday I will go to talk with her, and if she is ok with that (I HOPE TO OR I WILL KILL MYSELF VIOLENTLY) I will do it for real next week! Yay I'm a happy monkey!

hero priz rabu me

Well, I also want to do two fanzine with all the drawing I made for this project. I want to make one for the nice ones, and other one for the punk things like sketch and mspaint evil photo manipulation haha I will upload the pdf when I finish them.

Other business, I want to introduce you this tumblr (http://pur1kur4pr0n.tumblr.com/) Sua made this to upload weird pixel/mspaint self portraits. I participe under the tag of p4ElL4 ^^ ENJOYY

rotten

Hi, how are you dear readers!

I been so busy those days... I feel a bit sick because I have allergy and my nose hurts, my eyes hurts and plus I feel really sleepy. I scanned some random sketch drawing to make a compilation ' little worlds' I will upload it someday in a pdf ^^ kinda crappy drawing like what I made when I am bored at class or things like that. Now I'm working on projects drawing again. Because past weeks I did nothing about this (I have works to do ;_;)

I want to make this in wood.

Hope you are fine all! Hug.

Projector is here + Mori girl

Hi! My projector finally arrived! Image quality sucks a bit but I think is good enough for his purpose. Since it was so 'cheap' I couldn't ask for more.
I been thinking about school these days. And about life and stuff. So I decided I'm not gonna come back to Art History class. Because it makes me feel like shit. I will go to the exam and that's all.

Today i want to clean the house and I want to work hard later. I feel ok this way. Avoid thinking just work like the robot I am. Anyway I'm really happy these days I'm smiling like I was drugged, haha. Sunny days are best days, I love spring so much... When I became this bucolic?? oh god I want to be a mori girl mori girl! I hate Barcelona I want to drink vodka with bears.

*mori 森 is forest in japanese. Mori girl is a japanese fashion tendence about wearing cloths like if you were a pastor. It's cute.

(I will upload photos and drawing later) but now im gonna clean ^^

Say hi to Art History + PRINTZ

Uf... Yesterday I was like really angry and sad with myself cause I had a delay making a work for Art History and my teacher said I have to go to exam in september. I feel bad for her, and for me. But you know I think university should be kinda more flexible but It's true that I have no excuse. I did it bad. I really feel absorbed by some subjects and I don't care about others. For example I was so centred in my project, it took a lot of my time, So i forget about other things I had to do.

I really feel like I don't wanna be a student anymore. Next year is my last year but. It's been few years since I wanted to do my life outside school.

To print or not to print...

I always think about making prints. A lot of people do that and they have succeful selling. I like them cause they are more affordable than a paint or original. But I think: who the fuck gonna buy my crap. But, since my lack of money I think at least I should try. Some website makes prints for you and stuff. Cause I have no idea about printing. So... Maybe I will try to make some drawing and send them to this website, and hope they were accepted. A lot of self-promotion and weird people like me who likes weird art as I do.

do your best, but still not enough.

Hihi! I'm back! As I promised in last post I bring you some new drawing (not that new haha, but ok) I was really lazy and depressed last days like..I didn't care about anything you know. Kinda hopeless. I just wanted to hang my fucking useless self as Daul did. It's just I feel I'm not good enough, I'm not trying hard enough... I'm lazy as hell shit. I would spend whole life sitting in front of computer doing nothing but looking at japanese. Skipping classes, no social life, no boyfriend, no nothing. At least, since yesterday I am trying to face my responsabilities. I'm grown up as winnie the pooh.

pinku, make it hurt please
I made this like 100 years ago but... I kinda like it.. I used to work in a tattoo shop so, this is tattoo-alike (just a bit haaha)

And...


drawing weird stuff on university's table, being bad feels so good. I'm such a rebel, you see.

Also, I was checking Mini miniature mouse website... I saw her work several times on the internet, but it's my first time entering in her webiste. She does really cute art! She's working like Murakami assistant now. I better go die in a fire. I feel happiness but also I feel envy because I never will have such a honour. I know from my inside. I will never do nothing relevant.

Projector, lazy, otsukarebitch

Hi! Long time no update? Hahaha I restarted classes this week (after fucking easter break ) So ok, what I been doing. I was thinking about buying a projector but they are like superexpensive (400 euros cheaper one) So I started looking 2nd hand stuff. Why I need a projector. Because it will make my life way easier. I want to paint huge things, So I make a drawing and then I sketch it in the huge support. But sometimes a picture looks nice in a paper but doesn't work in bigger stuff. And you lost time and material and money and feel depressed and want to throw yourself to wc.

So I want to use a projector to put the image I previously draw and copy it (hardworker yes) And I also want to make performance with jisatsu netto and make vj set. So it would be really usefull. I am thinking about buying dj usb crap. It's about 100 euros cheaper one. I told to myself If I approve all my subject I will selfgift it ! I feel like coming just thinking about... so cool!

are some art places in barcelona where 'weird musician' can apply for. Mostly arty stuff. like pi pi pi pi electronic music with projections haha If I can buy this stuff I will apply next year!

Bye bye! I promise next post with PICTURES

UPDATED

I win the projector on da mafaphukin ebay so. IM HAPPY. CAN I BE AN ARTIST NOW.

almost finished yes

Hi! tatatachan! This is how it is right now, It's not finished ( Boots are not painted and some details and outlines are not done yet...) but looks pretty much complete. It was a hard time because I was working on a coffe shop and I was tired.. but now I finished working (it was just for easter) from now to june I should work hard as hell if I want to approve everything...

I'll do my best!

this is my with my uniform, it's cute isnt it

*thank to my brother and my mother to let me use them as a guinea pig for the photo

my cheektooth surgery and hell

Ok just another horrible and boring offtopic :P Yesterday I had a surgery to remove one of my cheektooth... Surgery was pretty quick and nice buttt.... Since yesterday night it hurts like hell, and my face looks deformed T_T I need to work on wood panels but I feel kinda bad and I can't eat u_u just liquid stuff, yesterday I was so starving at night and I tried to eat solid stuff and I can't it hurted so much at chewing... By the way today the weather is so pretty so I am so pissed of staying in bed like a corpse...

春 haru, spring, primavera + shit

Easter is coming finally! I have like 3249934034832 things to do. Last weekend I bought a lot of wood panels to paint on them (for project subject, plus mural painting...) sure a lot of work... がんばります！I'm feeling kinda happy these days cause spring had come and weather turned warm and perfect aw... I hope depressive-winter-self go die forever. So, here I just talk about my drawing but I have to read 3 books for art history and make works for other subjects... haha

open windows at night is best thing ever.

drawing ^^ working on haha

I went to see Contemporany Mural exhibition on Fundació Miró, Barcelona yesterday, it was so cool! I never been in fundació Miró before. I went walking from plaza España, It's a really pretty walk!

custom headphones

Two days ago my headphones died. So today I went to buy new ones. cheap way ofcourse..
So I liked them cause you can custom them. So I printed some photos I like and tried to fit them on the headphones.. So cool! I'm so happy : D I made one with tokyo jihen and shiina ringo logo (the eye from expo 08 pack) and jisatsu netto one too hahaha spaming all way long!

RIP
new ones... I don't like white but u_u
shiina ringo, and tokyo jihen YES

I'm bad at cuting haha

tokyo jihen

shiina sama

microwave I am human afterall

byebye!

Happiest (warning lot of pictures)

Awww long time no update! (drawing) So here I go! You know these days I was so anxious about my final project ( I can't even sleep properly) , cause I was making drawing and I was afraid teacher doesn't accept them (cause teachers are kinda beware about drawing and usually don't accept anything you can relate to illustration) But she does! I will try work on wood and mural (huge huge huge!) making a visual narration! Yes! Now I just want to start making this!I could die from this happines

this joke isn't funny anymore

romantic

romantic double

trying to make a narration but it's difficult

I made this orange gir weeks ago but I didn't scann it until now haha

I made orange girl from yosano akiko's poems ( It has no sense I know)

Unfinished, korg boy

I am crazy about kaleidoscope effect lately hahaha

bye bye!!!!!!