Recently I feel so... Disconnected from the world. Of work, or art, or ambition. I feel tired. I can't lead a normal social life. And It's so damn hot that I can't even think.
I really would like... you know. Have the freedom, the money and the bravery. But I got only the laziness and mediocrity.
I should be more positive. But is hard. Because I'm too shy, too coward, too insecure about my skills. I need a shoulder to cry over all the time. I'm tired of myself. And I'm tired about complaining and doing nothing. I wanted this year to be special... To be able to work a lot and be happy. Can I? I'm not unhappy. But not happy either. Because I feel I'm not doing my best. I would like to wakeup and live. Live harder, dream higher, love deeper; I heard once. I need the strenght. And the chance.
I should start to think less and act more. This blog has became a desert of complains .I don't like this shit. I want to draw again, learn again, make friends again. If only god would borrow me some hope.