Gimme some hope, OH GOD!

Good night dear readers,

I was about going to sleep.

Blah, anyway. I been drawing and painting quite a lot this days ^^ But only little shits hahaha. I was trying to do something great to make my website. Yeah do you remember I said I was making a website like thousand years ago? You can see the disaster with legs I am. Truly amazed of myself.

I got many works (mostly illustration) But I don't know... I feel like I can do it way better ( I never spend so much time making a drawing so) This is my problem, too much perfection and lack of effort. Shame on me!

But at the end I want to take this seriously. I need a proper portafolio. I need to work. I can't be playing around so careless forever.

It would be nice to feature on a gallery or magazine, but I feel I'm way to shitty. I got many options but I think I'm not good enough, ah.

Why I distrust myself so hard. I want a break of myself.

^_^

Hello dear readers,

Today I went to buy a new moleskine, because I just finished my old one ^^ I also bought some more shit... I couldn't resist hahaha I'm hopeless.

This days are happy and relaxed, because altough classes already started this week is just for subject introduction, showing program etc so I got a lot of free time!

Yesterday I made a deep cleaning at home... Maybe to kick away bad feelings, hahaha So now all is new and bright, I got new material and the will to do my best at work.

bye bye!!

Schooool

Dearrrr readers!

at first some pixel shit I made for a school project :D

did u miss my horizontal flipz?

Well today is my first day of class... of my last university year! To tell the truth, I have only few credits to go, so this year will be pretty calm ( I expect)

I just leave here some shit I was doing.

I do cook, too

omnomnom

I have some new drawing but I'm lazy to scan ^3^

Next week I will go to London yeah, to do what? NOTHING! just walk around meet some friends and drink and go shopping and that's all.

Good night

Hello dear readers,

Yesterday I finally finished my last exam. Yeah. It felt so good moma. I was like: I want to eat a kebab and sleep and watch anime. Well, I felt like painting... not so much just... Few crap.

The other day I went to a really nice place with a friend. Is a kind of art asociation (in a very traditional way) You pay an amount per month and then they let you use their instalation, wich are very lovely, like an atelier. Also some days they have model sessions. So good! You also can expose your work... To tell the truth is only old people there, but I'm ok with that. I want to go now!!

some random moleskine shit as present.

I'm sorry

Recently I feel so... Disconnected from the world. Of work, or art, or ambition. I feel tired. I can't lead a normal social life. And It's so damn hot that I can't even think.

I really would like... you know. Have the freedom, the money and the bravery. But I got only the laziness and mediocrity.

I should be more positive. But is hard. Because I'm too shy, too coward, too insecure about my skills. I need a shoulder to cry over all the time. I'm tired of myself. And I'm tired about complaining and doing nothing. I wanted this year to be special... To be able to work a lot and be happy. Can I? I'm not unhappy. But not happy either. Because I feel I'm not doing my best. I would like to wakeup and live. Live harder, dream higher, love deeper; I heard once. I need the strenght. And the chance.

I should start to think less and act more. This blog has became a desert of complains .I don't like this shit. I want to draw again, learn again, make friends again. If only god would borrow me some hope.

tavuchi drawing

Wow, really quick post before going to work ^^ Today I made a drawing for Tavuchi, she make nice fashion stuff, I knew her from RIDSTREET, best Tokyo fashion website ever! hahahaha

I make it in about 30 minutes so is not that good ^^ but I wanted to update this blog anyway.

Tavuchi's site

RidSnap street

Big Hug guyz!

Money is evil

Hi dear readers.
I want to talk about the reason I'm not uploading any new material. I don't have any. Now I'm on my fucking summer job. I hate my boss. I want to cry many many times because she is sooo fucking annoying and looks at me with 'smelling shit face'. But what the hell I supose to do? I'm doing some subjects for online university as well. So as you can see I don't have any real time. I come home at 3am from work. My body hurts. I know my life is not very interesting matter. But I want you to know. 21 june I will finish summer university and then maybe I will have more time to draw and project, but I really don't know. I just wish that september comes soon.

Zo I hearz money is raik cancer

I was talking with one of my best friend. She studied design and illustration. We want to make something together... But I don't know. I'm worried I'm not that good. Or not have enough knowledge about design stuff. Life is very confusing.